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Monday, March 29, 2010

Birthday cakes and dreams!

Back from a fabulous weekend in Margate.  Always lovely catching up with family particularly when it involves celebrations and eating as I am very good at both!

I did take a picture of my birthday cake on my mobile phone which I will share on this blog but need my husband to show me how! I really should know but tried previously and failed.  It was my 29th birthday and marks the final year of my twenties and has really made me appreciate how I want to push forward with my ambitions.

I also had a dream this weekend.  I often dream and have some very strange ones which sometimes make me wish my imagination was just as active in the daytime.  This one wasn't very surreal compared to most of the dreams I have but it was part of my subconscious talking.  It was myself, my two cousins and one of their friends. The friend of theirs who I didn't know was reading an e-mail I had written and had started laughing and joking about the language/slang used in the e-mail.  I automatically went to defend myself and explain it was only an e-mail, I had some dyslexic tendencies from old and I was actually a writer or trying to be.  In my dream she continued to laugh and pick holes and my cousins didn't really join in.  I kind of thought they should have come to my defence.  In reality away from the dream world I know this is more about my confidence.  From a younger age because of my previous dyslexia I was always discouraged rather then encouraged by a lot of people.  The one person who never discouraged and always believed in me has been my mum.  When I was younger my infant school teacher told my mum I would never amount to anything and not to hope for big things.  This was at a point when I wrote backwards and upside down and that teacher had already judged where I would get to in life.  Mum championed for me to have special tutor-age at the school specifically for children with dyslexia and it soon turned my fortunes around.  At age 21 having got my 2:1 with honours in Physiotherapy I received a card from that same teacher congratulating me.   I can not recall the number of times in between infant school and graduating from university that I was discouraged from trying to get into physiotherapy.  But it was what I wanted to do and I was determined to do it.  It was this self believe and determination that got me into University.  After being rejected from the conventional route I send out an 'information profile' to every University running the course.  I then got a job as a physiotherapy assistant and figured I would just try again next year but as clearing started two universities phoned and offered me places.  At the time it was the most exciting news I had ever received and within three weeks I had left home and moved to London.  Now I realise I need the same undeterred self believe.  I have found in the past I have taken any discouragement with writing to heart.  Although much of this stems from myself it is important to realise that some of writing is much like the university process.  Originally I wasn't chosen mainly because of the sheer volume of applications but by doing something a bit different and getting myself noticed I was offered a place.  Writing will be much the same I need to expect rejection letters and know that some things will never come to anything but none of that should take away my self-believe or the desire to continue doing what I love.

This week will hopefully see me getting lots done as I only have to work 5 hours in the week and Saturday.  So I am off to go and finish reading Under Heaven.

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